The D4 Concepts Newsletter

June 7, 2023

Issue #01: Courage to Overcome

Thanks for reading our first newsletter!

Why a newsletter?

First, we want to continue to be a greater influence on people like you who have crossed our path. It’s our way of continuing to invest and influence the people we know and work with.

Second, we want to make you think differently. We want to provide content that makes you think about yourself and the influence you can have on other people.

In each issue, we’ll have three main sections.

“Leading Yourself” — encouraging you to do the work to improve yourself.

“Leading Your Team” — giving you tools and ideas for how you can better influence and lead your team.

“Leading Your Organization” — thinking at the highest level about how you can influence your entire organization.

No matter where you are in your organization (or family or community), you can lead yourself in greater ways, and be a positive influence on those around you.

Let’s get started.

Leading Yourself

The Internal Struggle

What better place to start with than yourself? No doubt everyone of us can think of something we would like to change about our current reality. So why is it that days can go by where we see no visible or lasting changes?

The biggest struggle is the internal one.

If you have participated in one of D4's people development workshops, you’ll be familiar with the phrase “Know Yourself to Lead Yourself.” We use a visual tool to help participants understand that our reality today has been created as a result of actions we have taken over time. Our actions are rooted in our tendencies. Those tendencies lead us to respond certain ways. Those actions have reactions from others and influence their opinions of us.

My Tendencies —> My Actions —> My Consequences —> My Reality

Want to win the internal struggle and change your reality?

Start by recognizing and understanding your tendencies. Be honest with yourself and really take a look at what lies just below the surface.

Once you recognize a tendency, you can choose new actions different from what you've chosen before. In doing so, you'll begin to create a new reality for yourself.

The struggle will be worth it when you decide to overcome negative tendencies and choose to take new, positive actions.

Leading Your Team

Are You Protecting Someone in the Struggle?

If you have at least one other person that you influence, lead or manage, you have witnessed that person struggle. Perhaps they struggled when they were learning a new skill. Or perhaps it was in a relationship with a co-worker or friend.

No doubt you wanted to try to help them, or perhaps you did your best to help them through the struggle. But helping them is difficult when you know a tough conversation is needed to help them.

One of our favorite tools for helping leaders in this situation is the Support Challenge Matrix. We must make both Support and Challenge part of our leadership practice for those we lead. The people we lead need to be supported physically, emotionally and with the right resources. They also need to be challenged on a regular basis - to know the exact targets and metrics that equal success.

(Most of our clients have seen and used this tool. If you haven’t, you can get a free copy here: https://www.d4concepts.com/free-tool-scm/)

Often, we find leaders who have slipped into a mode where they offer more support than they do challenge.

Many times, they have completely pulled away from giving their team specific challenges. We call this a "Protecting" leader. A leader in Protection mode avoids giving challenge because they feel that they need to shield, guard or avoid the team member (or it could be a family member or friend).

Are you a Protecting person? 

Who are you really protecting?

I wonder if sometimes we avoid challenging our team members because we are protecting ourselves. We don't want to feel uncomfortable. We are afraid that offering a challenge might backfire and end up creating more work for us. Or we are afraid of the risk involved. After all, a confrontation and a challenge might cause the team member to leave and go elsewhere to work. Then we might get the reputation of being a bad influence or leader.

So start with yourself first. Choose to lead yourself better, and give yourself your own challenge.

• For your own personal accountability, before today is done, schedule a time to meet with the struggling team member.

• Make notes so you can share words of support, and specific words of challenge. (We coach leaders all the time on words they can use to bridge the gap and specific ways to share challenge.)

• Reframe the challenge in your own mind. Consider it a conversation that is ultimately for the good of the team member and for the good of the organization. Tough conversations can help your team learn and grow. Ultimately, it’s what they expect from you.

When we give people direct instructions or challenges that are kind and surrounded with support, those people are much more likely to rise to the occasion.

Have courage. Take new action in your leadership life to overcome this struggle. Lead yourself well so that you can lead others well and help them overcome in their struggles. Find ways to let your team know the specifics of what is required of them in order to win and to have an impact. You will grow from the experience, and they will, too.

Leading Your Organization

The Struggle to Shift Your Culture

We are seeing lots of articles these days about the culture of an organization - whether good or bad. We have seen the rise of terms like “toxic culture” to signify cultures that are damaging to people and ultimately to the organization. We have seen organizations raise retention rates by understanding the positive benefits of positive culture.

As one of my favorite authors and consultants is famous for saying,

We can come up with the greatest plans and strategies, but if they run counter to the culture of our organizations, we will struggle to implement them. The habits and behaviors of the people who make up the culture will find ways to avoid change. Most people will seek to maintain the status quo - even when it is negative.

If you want lasting results, you must be willing to change the culture. You must be willing to build a culture that supports your future vision with its behaviors and attitudes.

Why is it a struggle to change culture in an organization? Because most of us don't want to change. Especially if we have grown comfortable in the environment. And we fear change for a lot of reasons.

Change brings discomfort.

Change means learning new habits and skills.

Change means disruptions to daily life.

And change can feel risky and cause fear.

Here are four points of encouragement on your journey to change and improve your culture.

1. Real change requires top down support. If you are a senior leader and especially if you are the CEO, you have a much better chance of changing culture. Everything rises and falls on the leader. Get support from the top leader(s). Senior leaders need to be at the forefront of talking about the need for good culture. Model the behaviors that will exemplify the new culture.

2. Real change takes time. A shift in culture is not an overnight or one-week project. It takes repeated efforts over many months — and maybe years. If you want to shift the culture of your organization, adopt a long-term mindset. Patience is a virtue - especially in culture change initiatives.

3. Real change takes consistency. If you have a negative culture today, it is the result of consistently bad behaviors over the last few years. It only makes sense that shifting the culture will take consistently good behaviors. Be ready to consistently remind your leaders and people throughout the organization of the new behaviors that will shape the new culture. Do it daily.

4. Real change takes courage. It won't be easy at first. You have negative inertia and bad habits to overcome. As you start to change expectations and behaviors, you will upset those who have grown comfortable in the old way of doing things. You'll need courage to push through the complaints, the resistance, and the tough decisions to come. You have to stay focused on the bigger vision of what's to come.

If you are not a senior leader in your organization, you can still help shift the culture. You can embrace new changes and new behaviors. You can let your manager know that you want a better culture, and you can signal your willingness to do your part.

When you create a positive culture, people want to come to work. You'll create a workplace where people grow and strive to do their best work. Your organization will see increases in productivity, engagement and retention.

Overcoming negative behaviors and habits to establish a better culture will be a struggle, but it is worth it.

What have Micah and Mike been up to?

We have just finished up a busy Spring season with several clients. We’ve traveled across North Carolina, and to Tulsa, OK, and Jackson Hole, WY.

Currently, most of our clients are not that far away here in North Carolina — in High Point, Charlotte and Raleigh.

Upcoming? Well, it looks like we have new opportunities in Winston-Salem and Greensboro in NC, as well as Ohio and Florida. And you’ll hear later this summer about a leadership conference in which I’ll be speaking in Lisbon, Portugal, this Fall. Stay tuned!

Final Thoughts

If we're not careful and intentional, we can shy away from the struggles. We can seek our own comfort and avoid the hard things.

But I have found that the struggles are some of our best teachers. We learn the most when we are pushed to overcome.

The struggles form us and help us grow. We are forced to acquire new skills and experiences. And those can prove valuable in solving new problems and challenges in the future.

Have courage, and face the struggles. Lead yourself in better ways into your next challenge. Set a positive example for those you influence and lead. Overcoming the struggles will be worth it.

Micah Ray

p.s. Did you find value in our newsletter? Great! Feel free to forward it along to someone you think might benefit from reading it.

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To learn more about how you can develop more effective communication and leadership skills, visit the People Development section of our web site: https://www.d4concepts.com/people-development/